After
the fracas Coach M pick up a stuffed object that apparently has fallen from the
Losers aerial vessel upon departure. Upon entering the gymnasium coach M holds the green parrot up over his
head, claiming it to be more or less a token of tyranny. The amoebic crowd
foams and sways more frenetically with every gesture coach M makes. Marcellus
Buck’s, the sixth grade stand out parents are flagellating their limbs at their
own shadow, telling Coach M to go on ahead and preach that shit on brother. Knockout
student teacher Lillian Wiltz clatters up to the center stage and plants a wet
one on the side of Coach M’s face. Cheers erupt from every direction as Coach M
personally vows to find out whoever it is that is responsible for this fiasco
and personal guarantee a clenched fist ticket bus pass to their eternal
damnation not only here on earth but also in the numerous next worlds. The
crowd is now chanting Terrence Mooney’s name in a fashion that sounds like
Coach M running for some sort of elected political office. Coach M raises his
hand in a seventy-degree slant, slicing his arm up rather quickly the way
Patrick used to do in Spelling or Geography until he realized that the teachers
would more than likely never call on him anyway because he wasn’t at all
interested in shooting the ball from behind the arc after school with the rest
of the privileged kids who literally has a silver spoon wedged so far up their
ass it’s beginning to rust in their mouth. The foam of the crowd continues to
grow and rant and pretty soon it sounds like everyone is saying coach M’s last
name like a victory chant as he hoists Hale’s parrot in between the sharp sly
gut tooth grin of the guillotine as he has done with so many other grade school
mascots, asking the creature is he has any last words to say before he meets
it’s maker.
“Be happy! Be Happy!” The parrot chirps,
in front of a suddenly silenced crowd. When Coach M clears his throat in the
authoritative manner and asks the parrot to please repeat what he thought he
said, the parrot once again breaks into his pecker!
Pecker! Mantra before humming his Chestnut routine.
“As did
Abraham to Isaac, I do, therefore declare, a sacrifice.” The parrots fist sized
head being planted between the gaping tooth of the guillotine. Coach M,
reminding the raucous crowd that this is the most humane form of execution
known to man.
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