Wednesday, December 11, 2013


Dave had no clue what the fuck Patrick was talking about with his forward ‘Do you mind?’ query until Patrick asserted the question once again to an even more bemused somewhat broken and disheveled hearted David and then Patrick asked the question a third time, this time yelling out Kitty’s name over the phone line so loud that Dave had to go into the other room and explain less mother begin to think he was talking with one of his drunk ex-girlfriends, most noticeably Sarah Tuey, once again. Before Patrick hangs up the pay phone and clicks his heels together in public ushering out a signature Hale “whew-whoo” in exclamatory tandem, David tells Pat that, just in case Pat might have forgotten, Dave has just, I mean, just, worked his way out of a semi-sort of-serious relationship and tells Pat that his heart is shaped like the chipped edges of a broken blue willow plate to which Patrick responds by holding out his hand and rubbing his thumb and pointer finger together, telling Von Behren over the convenience of a public pay phone that, oh look,  the world’s smallest violin has requested the tune Cry Me A River but no one cares to honor your request at this present moment in time sir. Sorry.

 

Every great romantic hero holds his own golfers green when it comes to romantic flaws. Patrick’s major league flaw is that he can’t ask a girl out for the life of him w/o seeing the look of every other girl he has ever been in love with. On Kitty Petite's forehead his eyes perceive Riley Love’s third grade Elmer school glue smile. He sees the denim jeans belonging to Amy Coleshaw. He sees Amber and Amber’s olive skinned friend from over seas. The femme fatales profiles slide across Kitty’s forehead like movie previews. Dakota North. Rogue. He sees Jackie last winter in his bedroom and Nathan, refereeing the situation, calling time out by forming a T with both hands, calming both of them down after they kissed, and sending them both back to Pat’s bedroom, respectively, to finish off the quarter encouraging them both while jovially reminding Jackie that a best defense is a good offense and congratulating Jackie on her superb ball handling techniques, something which freezes Nate’s testicles when he thinks about it still to this day. He even (brief flash of the light bulb inserted here) sees the 444-something-something-something-something number that belonged to Ambra Slaake of Warsheenton. For the life of him, Patrick can’t remember if he ever met Ambra Slaake, but he remembers phoning her up and falling in love with, in lieu of a better phrase, her digits, her voice, what he saw inside his head.

 

            Once the fresco of past amours fade into the summer shaded décor of LUMs family restaurant, Patrick looks across the table once again and smiles his seminal Ethan Hawkish grin. He thinks that Kitty Petite looks like the front of a Christmas card. Like the sidewalk in winter before the placid snow is shoveled.

 

            “Well?” Quotation mark. Silence. Courtney is working tonight instead of Mary. Amy is bussing tables and humming a Tori Amos song, wishing she had a piano bench to recline on. The temp oriental manager is working on his English in the back room, asking one of the less conspicuous waitresses if a gerund isn’t also a type of rare pork. Behind Patrick sits a very old liver-faced silent couple smoking Pall Malls and who look like they have been cut and configured out of damp ruffled cardboard. Behind Kitty sits two boys with tye-dyed short haircuts and nose rings, listening to walkmans and slapping down magic cards. Kitty is sipping a coke and looking down at her shoes through the mahogany wood of the table. Patrick excuses himself to the necessary room where he admires the dents he made two weeks ago by punching the bathroom stall when he saw Tim Gillick and Amber together. He takes a four minute piss (coffee drinkers by Murphy’s Law have elongated bladders), and feels like his heart resembles the filter in the urinal rather than a presumably reddish sac of fluid and membranes. He feels like his heart, as well as everything else in his life, is always getting pissed on, by a giant pecker whose owner is also found of ninety-nine cents bottomless cups.

 

            As he saunters back out into the restaurant and slides back into the mocha colored booth both Kitty and Patrick look out the window. The caramel colored windows abutting the brick structure of LUMs looks like a sleepy eye with the blinders that have a permanent split-lip. The sun is beginning to detumesce and the moon is almost full, strung out in abeyance of the late summer sky like a glow in the dark yo-yo, slowly rolling to the antipodal corner of the pool table, looking for an intergalactic orifice to fall inside off—to momentarily pocket the eight ball only to eventually rack the balls up once again. Without thinking about Kitty’s disposition to nicotine, Patrick fires up a cigarette using a match. He exhales slowly. Deliberately. Trying to form O’s by making an odd sort of Lama face with his lips.

 

            As Patrick quotes the opening lines from Glycerin, whisking curved fingers around his imaginative bass, Kitty reaches out for his hand and squeezes it. Her palm is kitchen floor smooth with a smell of expensive mall-purchased lotion. Patrick feels a frissoned jolt enter his shoulder, tacking a warm nibble, numbing his socket. Perhaps her arm is an extension cord plugged into something much more deeper and abstract than what he can at this time fathom. They squeeze each others hands like a stress reliever on a secretary’s desk and Patrick looks at both hands and thinks about the Chinese bridge in Bradley Park. He thinks about miniature gondola’s ferrying courtesans strolling beneath their hands, a bridge rainbowed by knuckles and nails. Kitty can make out the individual hairs on Patrick’s hand harvesting into a fold beneath the movement of waitresses and caffeinated refills, the menu and the perfunctory drink queries and choices. Patrick lets his cig transpire form ash to cork and Patrick stares at Kitty and wonders why she has chosen this exact moment in space and time to extend her fingers and flex her knuckles and grope and grapple and squeeze.

Minutes later she will perhaps let go.

 

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