Tuesday, December 24, 2013



Here is SideArms, Col, lt. SideArms (although which brand of intergalactic military classifieds remain elusive, adding to his inscrutable aura of intrigue) at his Writers desk with quicksand pools of grime hatched under his eyelids like propulsive exhaust fumes signifying defeat. Although not a writer by trade, he calls his office his workshop, plotting out stratagems, moves calculating the enemies exact position and how to quell on coming advancements. His skin has more or less of a bronze, baked, seltzer water feel to it. With his helmet tagged off and situated in the corner, on top of heaps of foreign lexicon dictionaries, Side Arms hair is a scalp-cut plateau, his eyes offering Erin’s islands finest emerald. Coffee is heard gurgling in the background. An early Henri Matisse graces the wall with an optical splendor if near sighted colors splattered into perfect, molecule appropriating space. He hasn’t slept much, nor eaten much in the last five to seven days and is (covertly) a hypochondriac, Data, privately informing him that what he has are wormshells hatching from childhood ingested cosmic escargot when Sidey gets the jitters. An Alarm clock reads three-thirty morning time, East Coast back on earth, IN air city Time seems to be more or less arbitrary, and Sidearms has always harbored a hardcore fascination with the way his comrades from Earth (Earth, translated as Spectaroddengorrenger, from his home solar system, unknown to even him most days, Wet dream light years away from earth and Hubble eyelash blinks. He is exhausted. The theory that time corresponds to earthlings as a gravitational rapport between a gaseous solar object and a willing yo-yo, industrial heap of rock, never much made since to Sidearms. In Sidey’s pluriverse, Time is inculcated from the moment prior to conception, sperm cometing with centrifugal reconnaissance into an even more so burrowed sun, cored deeply inside charmed planets of flesh. Fuck. He feels inadequately about his troops and about the pending mission, which Juggernaut has referred to more than once as a Kamikaze (Orgon, thinking he meant Karaoke, brushing one of Speedballs magical hemp free elixirs and breaking out into a Tony Bennet accompanied Jazzed variation of Just In Time)-Tired. Earth coffee just never does it, to endorsed-The coffee set was a gift from Dakota when she was teleported back from Paris, doing underground espionage on Shredder for the CIA, located in Davenport. Dakota is sometimes called Codie by those whom she loves, including Paul, who Data has been scurrying about in the Med 7, injecting enema’s to verify Pauls Native American ancestry. Digital Justice’s quarters are three corridors down, and he can be heard riding out the late night hours popping Video game cartridges and splattering curses on the walls. There needs to be a way out. Above the Lt’s writing desk is a quote by J. Conrad, earth writer, and one time maritimer about finding out what sort of individual you are through work. He states that no man likes work, but that work gives each individual a dime’s flip at discerning who or what that individual is as a person and just what that individual is capable of overcoming, of achieving, of assign to  (in Sidey’s case) not only the human race as a whole-but the cosmos. Work gives an individual identity and also makes the laborer extremely fatigued. Tired. Fucking tired.  A quote Maxima gave him from Heraclitus is stabled directly above the Conrad quote, which reads simply that WAR, is the father of all good things. Maxima has recovered nicely since Juggy correlated her moribund, feeble health to that of sugared Chinese road kill. Orgon never seems to sleep on the vessel, he almost always doses off on the battlefront, though. SideArms was from a galactic field where aging is conducted more or less internally, the body accompanies this growth and then feeds on words and ideas. A hammer is being dropped somewhere. Wolverine was heard racing his Canadian Harley around the corridor twenty-four, looking for a tourist tryst, or maybe just someone to briefly share the story of his life with for a sad, brief pre-dawn moment. On the sky deck, owhen one watched any near Solar object burn off inexhaustible amounts of atomic energy, one gets the feeling of always watching the sun rise in a weird way and, if one is in love, one feels that the solar mass is equal in proportion to that which is presently burning inside of them right now. SideArms calculates that the Shredder is more than capable of disemboweling his entire cast and company of paramount fighters simply by peeing. His shears are similar to that of Wolverine, though Wolvies is toothpicks in comparison. Shredder sightings happened almost a year ago in spring, earth time, at a raucous gathering where he stabbed Juggernaut from behind. It was around the time Air man malfunctioned and sent his vessel plummeting on top of Manhattan, covering the entire city like a cheap umbrella in a torrential spring downpour. Juggernaut told SideArms when first they met that he was the president of the United States, and then offered him something called a cigar from some old fashioned Island scattered off of the state that reminds SidaArms of an aged phallus earthling. SideArms graciously accepted, sniffed, had Data analyze, and then smoked. He now can’t seem to kick his cigar habit for the life of him. Juggernaut and Sidey hit it off right away, going to Something Juggernaut called ‘Dinner and a Movie’-a fifties restaurant (which still to this day, befuddles the Col. Because most of the establishments patrons where between fifteen-nineteen, earth years). Much of earth culture perplexes Sidey-some fascination with the last two days of the week. Liquid poured from bar slabs into each other like ablutions-shriveled dances dotted with weary fatigue. The cautious entering and exiting of humans, staving off conception. Juggernaut used to take Sidey on road trips, into rivers on canoes which had invisible wholes bottomed in them.  Once Juggernaut even purposefully showered SideArms helmet with precipitation from a geyser-something SiderArms to this day, has fully yet to forgive. The story about how Wolverine entered this cadre of elite and arcane is a little different. In Canada, where SideArms was performing a classified mission, he stormed an innocuous fortress, and Wolvie haggled the fuck out of him, staking the claim that the fortress was his home. SideArms immediately encountered Wolvie in a vicious attack, until he saw a strange lady living up stairs, claiming by birthmark to be Wolvies sibling. His sister, already betrothed, wanted nothing whatsoever to do with Wolvie’s talk-a lot Alien, no matter where he claimed to have traversed, through, out and into the brink of universal quilt…..

 

So the story goes on…

 

The three of them have since become the closest of almost spiritual companions. Missions tackled in dense anti-gravitational morass abutting propelling solar freeways and acid creeks. Once Wolverine lead the way on a lights out mission, into a cavernous black aperture mysteriously found half-opened on a solar-cider plateau plane with greenhouse climate. Wolverine plunged in first, claiming that he could smell that this was the source and for that some reason, the three of them needed to dive in together and re-garner something that was lost to them. Juggernaut swore that he visited this place before he was juggernaut, and claiming that a clown dragon lived inside. The three of them descended and somehow lost ten years. Ten fucking earth years, finding themselves washed up on a beach, waves skirting the seashore like tubs of tallow immersed in grease sodden fat rollers. Juggernaut, coughing black shit out of his lungs, not knowing why and then realizing that part of his old, abandoned team had died, and that new members had been born. Wolverine, as well, woke up into a wall-scribbled past, pieces put together by a stranger cradling something that snorted French fries and Kool Aid and which she claims is his. Sidearms, still probes into the tunnel, trying to explore what it was that could have occurred-what trajectory took place. Smoking a cigar and sipping coffee from this planet he fell into and out of (weak stimulants……..)

 

There is a lull in Aircity. Sleep is entering veins and dreams are being biologically altered through chemical imbalances.

 

What SideArms doesn’t like to reflect over was that, for a while, the three of them lived for planets tucked in between empty zeros. Years went by and some sort of relapse triggered in their memory. They had forgotten that each of them once held some unique possession. Juggernaut sported chariots and polishes armor; (Wolverine, later claiming that Juggernaut had been set up by one of Orgon’s imprecations-sleeping under something called the Caterpillar curse). Wolverine fell through failed mission and failed mission, although he never forgot a mysterious person who popped into and out of his past like french toast, burning like a phoenix, and then flying off, only to skim his lust and burn his ardor off in dreams, waking up back into a stunted reality to a mild gambling predilection and corporate pyramid shticks. SideArms, too, entered mission after mission and came back instantiated, bandied and broken hearted, not knowing what happen-not knowing where the fuck to go next….

 

All this occurred, by the way, several, several years ago, earth years, while we were all quite young.

 

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